Throwback

         After talking with the middle schoolers and seeing what they are going through, it made me upset knowing that those kids are going through things that I went through at there age and even some kids had it worse then that. So that made me start thinking about all the things that I did in 7th grade and how hard it was, so I started searching for my 7th/8th grade journal and I ended up finding it. I was really excited at first to see what my mind was like each day I wrote in it. I don't remember a lot of my middle school life because when you are depressed, it's almost like walking around in a daze. 

          However, once I started reading it, I saw things that really stood out to me. I don't think you notice how bad things were when your at a low point in your life. Sure I remember feeling all these emotions that I felt, but some of the things that I thought about myself or things I wanted to do, just were shocking to me. I felt so disgusted with myself, to the point where I think that I deserved what I was doing and even wanted to do more. That led my thinking to the end of junior year when everything was just too much. The things I was doing, I wanted to do more and more because all the pain that I was doing through self harm and stuff, just wasn't enough for me. Thats when I realized that I needed to change. It scared me. I scared even myself. 

           So going through my journal entries and looking at the things that these middle schoolers wrote, made me gain even more determination and passion to make a difference in mental illness. We need to raise awareness because if we don't, then things will get worse and more people will live in pain everyday. Life is supposed to be fun. So we have to help ourselves. Once, we help ourselves we can start helping other people. And even if you help one person in this world, it will all be worth it.

"Take me, this is all that i've got, this is all that i'm not,

All that i'll ever be, I've got flaws, I've got faults,

Keep searching for your perfect heart,

It doesn't matter who you are,

We all have our scars."

"Scars" by Allison Iraheta