This week has, without a doubt, been the worst week of my life. The most amazing person passed away do to an awful illness. She was my go to girl. My Facebook friend (I made her get that one). My grandma. My best friend. The list goes on. She was and is everything to me. She was the most amazing person I've ever met. I admire her non stop caring of others, her humor and sass, her endless memories she has given me, and her message at the end of her time. Even while she was sick, she asked about how everyone else was doing. She never admitted that she felt like shit. It didn't matter to her. And man does that right there say something about her. Her humor and sass has always been something me and her have always shared. We are kind of the same person really. I see myself a lot in my grandma and I think that's what made us so close. Even when no one laughed at my joke or her joke, somehow it was funny to us and we could just look at each other and laugh. I love my grandma so much. I called her almost everyday and I have no shame in that. That was actually the highlights of my days. I could talk to my grandma about absolutely nothing for hours. And when I say "nothing" I mean either literally nothing or because she brought up a lot of the same questions which I always poked fun at her for.
There was this one time I had a speech tournament and I got first in it. I was SO excited and all I wanted to do was to come home and tell my grandparents. So I called them right when I got home and my grandpa answered. He said, "Hey kiddo! How was the speech tournament?" and I happily told him, "I got first!!!" He responded with a "great job!" and proceeded to quickly get me off the phone. Which is a pretty normal thing for my grandpa. He never stays on the phone long. I actually timed him one time to see how long I could keep him on the phone.... but thats a whole different story. Anyway he told "okay well I will let you tell grandma." and in the background all you hear is *whispered "she got first* and my grandma, huffs and goes "BOB" as her normal sassy self. That was something she was always known for in our house. That nasally bob. Once you heard it, you knew he was gonna get it. But my grandpa always being a gentlemen, went along with it. But she gets on the phone and goes "Hey! How did the speech tournament go?" and I didn't lie, I just said "grandma...I heard grandpa." And we both laughed for awhile. That memory really sticks out for me. I think it says a lot about her. Her sass, her humor, her relationship with my grandpa, putting others before herself. That was just her nature.
Along with the endless shopping addiction and obsession with mary kay makeup, she somehow loved technology. Both my grandma and grandpa do. Even more than technology, they love buttons. With a Facebook, that I made her get, and a camera, there were enough buttons that she didn't know what to do with. But the problem was, she didn't know how to work either of them. She always carried around her camera and when she did, she either pressed the wrong button, accidentally deleted a photo, or couldn't figure out how to turn it on. Either way, the photos never really turned out but she loved that thing and took it everywhere. As for Facebook I don't think that lasted long because her last post AND ONLY post was in 2012 and it said "My granddaughter made me get a Facebook ." She called me many times to figure out how to work that dang thing and I think after a while she just gave up. So I guess that one didn't last long. Not only did she loved technology buttons but she loved actual buttons. Many people probably don't know this but my grandma has a weird collection of buttons. I don't know if she just wants backups or she just likes how pretty they are but she has anywhere from a plain black button to a huge giraffe button. She has a huge tin full of them and I sorted through them all the time when I was little. That's what I did at grandma and grandpas house. I sorted buttons and played dominos and solitaire. And ate cookies, but that's a grandparents house for you.
I could go on and on to you about the memories my grandma and I and my family have made like her endless supply of ugly christmas sweaters or the sneaky one who fed my dog food from under the table. No wonder my dog loved my grandma so much. She gained ten pounds just coming home from their house for a week. but I think my favorite memories are when we just did the girly things. Anyone who knows my grandma knows she loves being put together. So I constantly taught her makeup tricks or painted her nails. I painted her nails almost every time I saw her and one of the last times I saw her she wanted her nails purple. Which she never gets purple so I questioned it. I asked her "why purple?" and she said "you gotta live right?" and that was that humor that I love. Painting our nails was just something we always did and after she always told people to "look at her nails." Especially that last time. I really think purple was her color. And secretly, I think she did too. But I'm going to leave this with one last memory that I feel like is important to share. I believe it's something she really believed in and really wanted me to get out of her time here. I did her makeup one day when I was about 13 and at that time I sucked at it so I was just happy someone said yes to letting me do their makeup. So I went to apply eyeshadow and I had trouble because her eyelids were so wrinkly and so I, being my straight forward self, jokingly asked her, "how do you do your eye shadow? Your eyelids are so wrinkly." and we laughed for a second and then she got serious and said "you just make do with what you got." And I truly believe that is what she lived by. No matter what the circumstances. She really taught me everything I need to know in life. She taught me that sometimes you fight battles that you are going to loose. That doesn't mean you quit trying though. And if you take anything out of this whole thing, take away something that maybe I didn't quite understand at 13 while doing my grandmas makeup, but that whatever state you are in or whatever problem your facing, it all soon will be okay. Because like my grandma, or I should say my best friend, says "You make do with what you got."
"It's a wonder you don't know, how wonderful you are,
so maybe I should show you now,
that you've got a halo, you've got a halo,
you've got a halo, that maybe you don't know."
"Halo" by Lewis Watson
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