Fall Retreat

           This weekend I experienced something completely different for me. You see, I have always been a christian since I was born, I guess you could say I was born in to it. I went to church every sunday in California and then we moved to Indiana and couldn't really connect with any churches that we liked so we just kind of stopped going. I've tried reading the Bible, but it never really interested me enough to finish it. I prayed, but only if I needed something. I went through a hard time while I was mentally not there and I kind of gave up on it. I didn't have faith that I could help me or even He could help me. I questioned why ALL the the time. Why was He making me go through this? Why do bad things happen when He is supposed to be all good? 
         I moved in to Purdue about 2 and a half months ago and I have met some AMAZING people on my floor. It's weird, because in high school I probably never would have seen myself friends with them. I just was so different and I feel like I have matured so much since just that short time ago. But let me tell you about these people on my floor. They are some of the most genuine, amazing, faithful, gorgeous, and HILARIOUS friends I have ever had. They love me unconditionally and I love them unconditionally. It's like we are this whole community that is just surrounded by love. And I admit, I drank the first couple months of college and before, but when I'm with them, I don't need to. I have a good time without all that stuff. And I finally feel, for once in my life, that I don't have to pretend to be someone that I'm not. Along with these amazing friends, some of them introduced me to a group called Cru at Purdue. It's a Christain youth Group that basically strengthens their relationship with God and just discuss different aspects of their religion. The people who introduced it to me wanted me to go try it. At first I was a little scared cuz I don't know as much as them and I wasn't sure what was going on in my head, but I went anyway. 
          And that right there has got to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. This group of people are just so welcoming and kind and that reach out to you in ways that others can't. My fear of not knowing as much about Christianity as others completely diminished when I got there. The cool thing about this group that I have never really felt before with any other youth group is how you can ask any question and they will answer it. Whether you think it's a dumb question or a risky question. They don't care. And there is this overwhelming feeling of security every time I am with this people. I feel safe and loved and welcomed and you don't know how great that feels. 
          So this weekend I decided to go to Cru Fall Retreat down in Lake Placid, Indiana. It was CRAZY!!! There was over 300 Purdue students there and I loved every minute of it. It was like one huge community coming together for one purpose. At one point I even got a little teary eyed. The energy I felt from this is indescribable. We had an amazing guest speaker and saw some pretty funny skits, a small group discussion, and a bonfire. One of the topics that kept coming up was how people go to church and they read the Bible and follow all of these rules, but in the end are they really in a relationship with God or are they just doing it to do it. And they got me because I feel like when I was younger, I knew who he was just like I know who Channing Tatum is. I watch Channing Tatum movies just like I read the Bible. But did I really know him? Was I really in a relationship with God? No. 
          And that's what really spoke to me this week. I feel like this weekend was a turning point for me in my faith and I can begin my relationship with God. I want to do that. I know now that that bad stuff that I thought He was doing, it gives you a direction. It points you to better things. And I can not even describe how happy I am right now. It's like one of those moments where you know that right now, at this very moment, I am exactly where I need to be. Everything I have done previous to right now, led me to this point. And quite honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. 
          I love you Kanye 2 west (;


 "Yeah I am invincible, no I ain't a scared little girl no more,

Yeah I am invincible, what was I runnin' for,

I was hiding from the world, I was so afraid, I felt so unsure,

Now I am invincible, another perfect storm."


"Invincible" by Kelly Clarkson