You know those moments where you sit there and spin things over in your head like a thousand times while sitting in bed at night because you can't sleep? I don't mean the thoughts where you are trying to figure out what to wear on a certain day (which don't get me wrong, I have those thoughts too) but I mean those thoughts where you really think deep about it. This happens to me every night. I'm glad that I am able to sit and analyze deeply about a topic or something that happened that day, other times I'm just really annoyed and want to go to sleep. But one thing that I keep finding myself coming back to is the aspect of college. You may be thinking "ok what about college? College is college. It doesn't require any deep thinking..." But if you actually sit back and think about it for a little while, college really is quite interesting.
It's not the people or the situations/stories (although those can be HILARIOUS), I'm talking about just the concept of college. College really isn't that different than high school. We are getting an education, we have friends around us to make it through, we build the same relationships with teachers and students, and we spend most of our time on our education. Sure, classes get a TON harder and we are actually living at our school and maybe we are learning things that actually interest us, but other than that college really isn't that different. I just think it's weird how someone perceives this idea that high school is going to be so much different than college. I did the exact same thing. You work yourself up that it's so different than what you are used to but in reality, you adapt to your surroundings and you realize that your here for the same purpose as you were in high school. I don't know, maybe you think this little rant is just me thinking too much while i'm trying to fall asleep, but it really does make you think.
Another thing I think is interesting is how our whole life we have grown up with a set of standards. The standards of beauty, the praise for A's but the punishment for C's, the standards of living, the standards of relationship, etc. Not one person can achieve all theses standards that we are setting. It's impossible. I get frustrated at this sometimes because I don't want to grow up with standards or "checkpoints" in my life that defines me as being successful or unsuccessful. It's like a certain structure in our life or requirements we have to meet at certain points. You're born, you go to school, you go to college, you meet a guy while your in college, you get a job, you get married, and so on.... and in that order.
The thing that gets me frustrated though is the fact that I get frustrated at myself when I don't follow those things in a particular order. I feel like everything has to be perfect all the time and growing up like that all your life really sucks. I think that's one of the things that make me so insecure about myself. It's one of the things that make me feel like I'm not good enough for things and really doesn't let me see my true worth. And that's something I've really been working on for almost a whole year now.
Recently I had a conversation about all this with a friend and she really made me realize that I shouldn't have "requirements" or "checkpoints" in my life to make myself successful. From now on, I'm going to live life my way and do things when I want to do them. I'm not going to go out a search for things just so that I can accomplish something in life. Things are supposed to come to you. If you keep searching you'll miss out on all the great opportunities that lay before you. So to people reading this, don't follow all the standards that people give you. Make you're own standards. Only you know what's best for you. So you do you and make YOURSELF happy, not anyone else. Because only then can you be successful.
"He rocks in the treetops all day long,
Hoppin' and a-boppin' and singing his song,
All the little birdies on jaybird street,
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet"
"Rockin' Robin" By Bobby Day
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