This needs to stop NOW

         Sometimes, I get this over powering feeling that I absolutely HATE being a part of this earth. Not because I'm mentally not okay, but because we (humans) are one of the most horrible species on this planet. Living things have actions that are most of the time done in order to survive. Animals and plants hurt other things and try and kill other things so that they have something to eat or make fuel on and that thing that you try and kill or eat on, is withering away one by one till eventually there is nothing left of it. And if we think about it, really think about it, we aren't so different from that. The actions that humans make are so cruel that it takes me awhile to even process it in my head.

         The words we say and the actions we take, always need to be thought about before we do it. We try to break people down in so many ways until that person is finally gone. We are intentionally killing one another, whether it's from the inside out or the outside in and nothing ever stops until that person is gone. And that is something that I am so disappointed in in our species. We just don't stop. We want to win a battle against another person just like animals and plants. It's awful the way we can just sit there and watch this take place. Those things that that person says or does to hurt the other person, they thrive off of it. That is where they get there energy and it's seriously sickening. Get another hobby and stop making others feel like shit. I don't care if that person is weird or has had past mistakes or is good at what they do, YOU HAVE NO REASON OR VALIDATION TO BULLY THEM AND MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY ARE WORTHLESS. Because they are not. And whoever does this, should be ashamed of what they are doing. Wanting someone to hurt is awful and we all know how it feels so put an end to this. Stop being arrogant and selfish and get a life and stop trying to take one away.

"Cause I can take on so much more than I have every dreamed,

So beat down on me, beat down on me like a waterfall,

Cause baby I am ready to be free, Now I am invincible,

No I ain't a scared little girl no more, Yeah I am invincible."

"Invincible" by Kelly Clarkson

Tomorrow's the day

           So tomorrow is the day that I move into Purdue. The place that I will be staying for the next year. It's weird because my best friend and I have been avoiding this all summer. At the beginning of June we told each other "Oh well, we won't worry about it until the day before." Now it's the day before and I just got done saying bye to her. An hour and a half doesn't seem too far away, but to two people who are with each other almost every day and would see each other when we were upset, it's a long way away. I can't just come and see her when I am upset or when she is upset. So knowing that I won't see her sometimes for months at a time is devastating to me and will definatley be hard to get used to. 

           I can't deny being nervous and scared for this new part of my life. I mean it terrifies me, but somehow everyone does it and everyone gets through it. The things I will miss the most will probably be just the little things: hanging out with my best friend on school nights at the park or getting ice cream or even arguing constantly. I will also miss that home feeling that my house has. It's comfortable for me and I love my bed and MY OWN bathroom so much. hahaha. I'm nervous about getting into my normal routine and knowing my way around campus or getting to/doing good in my classes. But I'm also excited for making new friends and seeing/experiencing new things and just the normal stuff. I want to find more about myself these next four years. And I think this will give me an opportunity to do that. And I'm also SUPER EXCITED to decorate my room the way I want and without the help of anyone else. So of course there are some pros and cons of this, but I'm sure once I get into it, I will love it. And my best friend will always be my best friend and the adventures we can have now are endless. I can't wait for her to come up here and see my soon-to-be new home. (:

"I never worry, life is a journey,

I just wanna enjoy the ride,

What is the hurry? It's pretty early,

It's okay, we'll take our time"

"The Night Is Still Young" by Nicki Minaj

Kid at heart

           When working with kids, the great thing about it is the fact that they say simple answers to such complex questions and sometimes, I have to be honest, it really is that simple. I was working today and a kid was asking me if I wanted to play dolls with her and without thinking, I said "no I can't play with dolls. I'm too old to play with dolls." So she went on and played dolls with some friends in the class and a couple minutes later she came back up to me and sat on my lap. She looked up at me and said "Miss Leah, I never want to become a grown up." Out of curiosity, I asked "why??" And she said "because then you can't do fun things like play dolls." And after that she hopped down and began playing again.

           It was weird, it was such a simple response but also a complex idea.  I thought about it some more and she was so right. I've always told myself that I never want to loose my little kid qualities or my creativeness. But it seems to me like I have begun to. However, this little girl, by saying one thing, gave me a reality check. I am never too old to do kid stuff. Everyone should have kid-like qualities at heart. Why should we always be so serious and have to grow up? It's like we try so hard to grow up but once we get there we wonder where the time has gone and how much grown up stuff we have to do and we don't take a step back and think about all the things that we can still keep with us as we grow older.

            So with this on my head today, I have been thinking about all the ways to keep being creative and working on keeping that creativity. Luckily, I had a high school teacher that did a whole lesson on creativity and what to do to work on it. I am going to keep working on my sketchbook as always, and maybe do some extra things to keep my brain going. I also want to create projects to get the kids creativity going and make sure that they don't loose it; at least in my classroom. And if that little girl ever asks me again if I want to play dolls, my answer will always be a yes.

"Oh I'll never know what makes this man,

With all the love that his heart can stand,

Dream of ways to throw it all away, 

Oh, gravity is working against me,

And gravity wants to bring me down."

"Gravity" by John Mayer

Be The Not Normal

     I have just been in a ranting mood apparently because this is my second post in one night. It's night time and as always, my mind spins with things that I want to happen or do or change. But now I am really thinking about how much the experiences in our lives really change us and make us who we are. I mean if I were to have a disability, my life would be completely different. So it got me thinking about all the experiences I have had and I have this sudden urge to experience more because while I feel like I have experienced a lot, I still am unsatisfied. I want more. 

     I want to travel and see different cultures. And not just see these cultures but live these cultures that are so different than what I mine is. I want to learn the different foods that they are used to or realize how hard it is to be the one who sticks out from the crowd because they don't speak the same language. I want to put myself in the shoes of someone different. I want to try new things. 

      And as I think more about it, I wish when my parents asked me where we wanted to go for vacation, I wouldn't have said the typical "Florida" response because at the time I wanted to be like everyone else. But now I wish I would have picked somewhere that other's wouldn't have picked to go. I don't want to experience the same thing as another person because what's the point in that? It's already done. I wish I would have replied with "Haiti" or "Rome" or "Mexico." And I'm not talking the huge cities that everyone goes to visit and be a tourist. I mean go to the little cities and really see the culture. Something that we as people haven't changed to fit our "American" needs. It seems like everyone and everything is the same nowadays and to be honest, I don't like it. I want something different. I want to experience something different. Or read something different. I want to BE something different. I want to test my knowledge and gain a whole new perspective on things. So that's what this year is going to be. A change. A challenge. A new beginning. To learning new things, doing new things and experiencing all these different cultures that I don't even know about. I want to be more in tune to what is around me rather than what's on my phone. Because if we take a step back and really look at all of our surroundings, it's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

"And I never wanted anything from you,

Except everything you had and what was left after that too,

Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back,

Struck from a great height by someone,

Who should know better than that."

"Dog Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machines

Spread Happiness (:

           I have really been thinking recently on the happiness of myself and other people. Latley, I have just been witnessing a lot of hate between people that I know  and I have got to say, it kind of gives me anxiety a little. The fact that our generation is growing up with social media and school and texting. If you want to be mean to someone, you can find multiple ways to do it. 

          I'm not perfect, I'm sure I have made someone feel pretty crappy before but when I do, I realize it and I apologize because that is what my parents have taught me to do. I try to put myself in the other persons shoes because something I say, can be extremely hurtful to another person and I for one, don't want to hurt anyone no matter if I like that person or not. That's the thing that we all have to remember; that EVERYONE deserves to be happy. No matter what they have said to you or has done, or there race, or there gender, or views on matters. We ALL deserve happiness. If someone is mean to you, you have to remember that that person is probably going through something to make them lash out at you but there becomes a fine line between just being mean and bullying someone. It's not acceptable. Why do we want to make someone feel sad? That person could have so many things going on in there lives that they could do something to themselves and I'm sure that if you took a step back and thought "What if that person died tonight" would you feel guilty? I'm sure you would. 

           We have to remember what our jobs as people are. Is it our job to go around and make people feel like crap? No. We want to spread happiness and joy to others because I don't know about you, but I want to see more people happy and less people with personal problems. Even people with problems that aren't personal you can help just by giving them a compliment or by smiling at them and being nice. When you're nice to someone you feel good, rather then wasting all the energy to be rude to someone else and in the inside you feel bad. 

            I don't know, I know everyone is good on the inside and we all have kind hearts but can we all just try and be a little nicer to people? Make someone's day a little brighter. Go out of your way and do something special for someone. Spread kindness and laughter. And if you don't "like" a person or you don't like something they have done or said, ignore it. Don't associate with them. But DO NOT make them feel like crap and bring them down. Because that's a horrible feeling that everyone knows and I'm sure we all don't like. If you have done something like that to someone, go apologize. I'm sure that other person would feel a lot better. If you take anything out of this whole rant, just think before you speak and spread happiness not hate please and thank you(:

"He rocks in the tree tops all day long,

Hoppin and a-boppin and singing his song,

All the little birdies on Jaybird street, 

Love to hear the robin join tweet tweet tweet."

"Rockin' Robin" by Bobby Day