Wow guys, was I in for a journey. Before this surgery I think I realized that this was going to be a long process, but I still think I underestimated it. I think my mind pictured something a little more encouraging felt a little more encouraged. Which is easy to do when your preparing, right? It's like starting a new fitness routine. At first your excited to get fit and where your outfits and then slowly, you get so tired and exhausted and you just want to quit. It's very similar. Except mine happened in like 3 days, haha. It's not pretty and all tied up in a bow, that's for sure. It's painful. It's uncomfortable. You don't get sleep. It's a haul just to go to the bathroom. The constipation from my pain pills makes me not poop for like 4 days. I get nauseous pretty frequently. And the least of my worries but still very hard for me, is just sitting and watching netflix all day. I barely watch tv, so learning to be able to do that and be content with not going outside for a week straight is really killer. I try to switch things up with reading books and watching tv and playing ukulele, but man it's hard.
In a weird way though, I've learned a lot and have been encouraged a lot. I've been encouraged in mostly just my friends. I have friends who text me mostly everyday just to see how I am doing and giving me that extra laughter and encouragement to keep me going. That's what I live on right now. And being able to see who texts me during this hard time is a big eye opener for me. I am able to learn which friends are with me in the long haul. I am also learning so much reliance. In a situation where you literally can't do anything but get up and pee and maybe lift your leg, I'm helpless. But I needed that. I needed to be in that position to learn the hard way. Pretty dramatic way of learning reliance, but with me and my stubbornness, I needed it. It's definitely given me a new perspective spiritually too. I see what God needs us to do. To come to Him just like I am now. I am helpless even without my knee problems and I need to come to Him like I am. We need Him just to get through the day. So that's exactley what I've been doing. And He has brought an amazing group of friends by my side.
This week really was pretty chill for me. Like I said, mostly just books, singing, and tv. I was probably in my worst pain since surgery on Wednesday and Thursday. But I found out it's because my brace was just way too low and kept sliding down, putting pressure on my knee. It's also been a pain not being able to shower. I've just had to sponge bath which makes me feel disgusting. Luckily, I've recently gotten to fix my nausea and constipation problem. More drugs !! hahaha. But much needed. Yesterday, I got to go out for my dad's birthday which was a HUGE deal for me. I haven't been out since my surgery so getting some fresh air and civilization helped me a ton. I was in some serious pain when I got home, but I still think it was worth it haha. Then today, I had another doctors appointment. I got my stitches out and they adjusted my brace. NO MORE BANDAGES GUYS!!! YAYYY. And even cooler then that, they adjusted my brace to where I can bend it to 45 degrees!! It's not much, but it's progress. My brace will be like that for 4 weeks. They told me to try and bend it at the appointment and I couldn't even lift my knee up hahaha. I'm still pretty bruised, swollen, and sore. But I start physical therapy a week from today to start with some slow movement exercises. I am very excited for that. Other than that, not much has been going on. Just trying to get better. Continued prayers would be great !
"And all that I'll say is fire away,
take your best shot, show em' what you got, Honey I'm not afraid,
Rear back and take aim, and fire away."
"Fire Away" by Chris Stapleton
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