Man, it's been so long since I have written on this. So many good things as well as some unfortunate things have happened that I barely know where to begin. After INDYCC I have still had the passion for reading the gospel and sharing it with other people. I even had the opportunity to share my faith with someone I met on a bus who randomly was in my sociology class and asked me to go to dinner. She has begun going to bible studies and learning more about God and I am SO unbelievably blessed to be able to see that and work wit that. It's so true that as long as you are the feet for God, He will go send his holy spirit down and have it go straight through you. Me and that girl have become stronger friends and I love being able to answer the questions she has.
This semester I am taking less credit hours because of the 7 extra credits I will be taking this summer on my study abroad to Honduras. I am taking 14 credits (Leadership, English Composition, Human Development, Professional development in FACS education, and Sociology) at the moment and it seems to be a good fit for me right now. I still have a lot of work to do, but it's still a lot better than last semester. This semester the bond has become unbelieveably close with the people on my floor. Prior to college, I had many more not so good friends than amazing ones and now I am so thankful to be able to know who I can count on and who my real friends are. They amaze me everyday and I would do anything for each and everyone of them. The floor events and adventures we all have been on have drawn us amazingly close and those are memories that I could relive forever.
As well as some pretty amazing things so far this semester, there have also been some things that haven't been so great. My hamster Cha Chi passed away after 2 years of snuggles and cuddles every night. Me and my mom were both pretty upset. It was the best hamster ever. Another thing that I have noticed is how I've become more and more introverted this semester. Last semester I was a complete extrovert. Sitting in the hallway, staying up till 3 am every night, chilling with everybody at almost every hour of the day. Now, I see myself working in my room almost all the time and not going to other people's rooms nearly as much. It's weird. It's like now I need so much more space and time for myself then I ever had. Which is okay, but I am still trying to adjust myself to this new need.
The other thing that has been pretty stressful and painful this semester (and I guess ever since I started it) has been my medicine Accutane (for my chest). Here's the thing, I have heard of many great comments about Accutane. However, for me, not so much. I have been pulled on and off this thing twice so far: once for horrible stomach pains and once for my blood levels shooting sky high. Accutane is just not a good medicine for me. My anxiety levels have increased pretty bad and I am trying to counteract that with anxiety medicine, my skin is horribly dry with my hands inflamed and burning, I have an average of about 6 nosebleeds a day, I have headaches that come and go, and many times after I eat my stomach will have serious stomach pains. I don't know how I feel about all this honestly. At first I had the determination to get through it, to just keep going. I still do, but so much of me wants to get off of it. Just give up. But that's the thing. It's for something that may not have another chance to get better. Right now I have to throw away what I want and go with what I need even if it's a 50/50 shot of working. It could work and that's the only hope I have right now. So I am learning to but faith into God because there is nothing and no one who can help right now. And even though these next two months will be one of the hardest times I've ever had, I have to do it. I don't have another option.
Accutane takes up a lot of my life. It's painful and hard and down right sucks. But these amazing memories I get to keep experiencing keep me going. My friends keep me going. The people who read my blog keep me going. I just hit 4000 blog views this month and January 27th was my first blog post. I have been blogging for over a year now and it's amazing to go back and read my posts to see how far I have come, how much I have to go. I started this blog for a club called FCCLA where I competed in their state event last year. Tomorrow I am leaving for the exact same thing I attended last year, except this time I am on the other side of the spectrum. I am judging and presenting for Purdue. It's crazy how things fly by so fast and then come in a full circle. I am so beyond excited and I cannot thank people who have stood by me enough. Hopefully I can keep up to date with this blog a little more. I have so many things to look forward coming up as I am going to New York for Spring Break with some friends, Honduras this May semester, and Pennsylvania and Mayo Clinic this summer! </3
"It feels like we've been living in fast forward,
Another moment passing by,
The party's ending but it's now or never,
Nobody's going home tonight."
"Up All Night" by One Direction
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