3 Weeks Post Op

      Wow guys. Has this experience been rough. I think in the beginning I knew what I was getting into, but it could not prepare me for this. The pain hasn't been too bad, pretty manageable. But I've been very uncomfortable and super restless. I can't sleep. It's a hard time and it's hard to see your friends out having fun while you are sitting on the couch watching TV. I'm worried as well about this upcoming semester at Purdue. I'm not sure when I will be able to start working at the Preschool, but I need to earn money for books in the fall. So you can say I've been a little stressed out lately.

      I started Physical Therapy this week. I go twice a week. This will be the hardest part of my recovery. I'm very nervous about the long road ahead and I'm praying it won't be too painful. Last Tuesday they set my brace at 45 degrees to start the bending process. This week that's exactly what we worked on, with some added ankle exercises and electrodes with ice. In the two times I went this week, my therapist finally got it bent to 45 without too much pain and discomfort. That was our goal mark for next Friday so I hit it a week early. Of course I asked if we could just keep going but we can't go farther until around four weeks. So this next week will just be getting me more comfortable with bending it and bending it by myself. It's not a huge step, but man it's something.

       Hopefully these next couple week won't be too painful and I really hope I can sleep better. I still have a really long road ahead, but little by little, it's getting there. Hopefully time will pass a little faster now that I'm in therapy.

"I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe,

I gave away my money and now we don't even speak,

I drove for miles and miles but would you do the same for me?

Oh honestly?"

"Save Myself" By Ed Sheeran

2 Weeks Post Op

Wow guys, was I in for a journey. Before this surgery I think I realized that this was going to be a long process, but I still think I underestimated it. I think my mind pictured something a little more encouraging felt a little more encouraged. Which is easy to do when your preparing, right? It's like starting a new fitness routine. At first your excited to get fit and where your outfits and then slowly, you get so tired and exhausted and you just want to quit. It's very similar. Except mine happened in like 3 days, haha. It's not pretty and all tied up in a bow, that's for sure. It's painful. It's uncomfortable. You don't get sleep. It's a haul just to go to the bathroom. The constipation from my pain pills makes me not poop for like 4 days. I get nauseous pretty frequently. And the least of my worries but still very hard for me, is just sitting and watching netflix all day. I barely watch tv, so learning to be able to do that and be content with not going outside for a week straight is really killer. I try to switch things up with reading books and watching tv and playing ukulele, but man it's hard. 

      In a weird way though, I've learned a lot and have been encouraged a lot. I've been encouraged in mostly just my friends. I have friends who text me mostly everyday just to see how I am doing and giving me that extra laughter and encouragement to keep me going. That's what I live on right now. And being able to see who texts me during this hard time is a big eye opener for me. I am able to learn which friends are with me in the long haul. I am also learning so much reliance. In a situation where you literally can't do anything but get up and pee and maybe lift your leg, I'm helpless. But I needed that. I needed to be in that position to learn the hard way. Pretty dramatic way of learning reliance, but with me and my stubbornness, I needed it. It's definitely given me a new perspective spiritually too. I see what God needs us to do. To come to Him just like I am now. I am helpless even without my knee problems and I need to come to Him like I am. We need Him just to get through the day. So that's exactley what I've been doing. And He has brought an amazing group of friends by my side.

        This week really was pretty chill for me. Like I said, mostly just books, singing, and tv. I was probably in my worst pain since surgery on Wednesday and Thursday. But I found out it's because my brace was just way too low and kept sliding down, putting pressure on my knee. It's also been a pain not being able to shower. I've just had to sponge bath which makes me feel disgusting. Luckily, I've recently gotten to fix my nausea and constipation problem. More drugs !! hahaha. But much needed. Yesterday, I got to go out for my dad's birthday which was a HUGE deal for me. I haven't been out since my surgery so getting some fresh air and civilization helped me a ton. I was in some serious pain when I got home, but I still think it was worth it haha. Then today, I had another doctors appointment. I got my stitches out and they adjusted my brace. NO MORE BANDAGES GUYS!!! YAYYY.  And even cooler then that, they adjusted my brace to where I can bend it to 45 degrees!! It's not much, but it's progress. My brace will be like that for 4 weeks. They told me to try and bend it at the appointment and I couldn't even lift my knee up hahaha. I'm still pretty bruised, swollen, and sore. But I start physical therapy a week from today to start with some slow movement exercises. I am very excited for that. Other than that, not much has been going on. Just trying to get better. Continued prayers would be great !

"And all that I'll say is fire away, 

take your best shot, show em' what you got, Honey I'm not afraid,

Rear back and take aim, and fire away."

"Fire Away" by Chris Stapleton

Beginning of a Long Long Journey

So I had my surgery this past Friday. It was an early morning that started at 7am. I was pretty nervous going into the surgery. Mostly nervous for the nerve block, the long recovery, and just getting the surgery over with in general. The day went fine. I went to pre op and had a pretty amazing nurse who joked with me and talked about her daughter who also goes to Purdue and is Elementary Education. I got my IV and filled paper work out and then went to another pre op room for my nerve block. A nerve block is basically a procedure where they give you sedation and then put a need down in the femoral nerve of your thigh and it numbs the leg. I shouldn't have been nervous about it at all because I don't remember a dang thing. They gave me that sedation and I don't remember. Come to find out, I called the nurse hot?? Classic me. Then, they brought me back into the room and me and my family talked to the doctor and the anesthesiologist  The next thing I remember is being strapped into the operation table and a nurse holding my hand. The nurses were all pretty sweet from what I remember. The next thing I know I'm in my room. I was pretty hot after surgery so they put rags on my body. After following normal procedure protocol, I got to go home. The surgery itself took 2 and a half hours. And from what I also don't remember, when I woke up I had tears rolling down my face and asking what happened. hahahaha. Oh boy.

            The rest of Friday and Saturday mostly consisted of sleeping. I was pretty exhausted and was trying to get the anesthesia out of my system. I've also been pretty constipated so that's been annoying as well. Saturday evening my two friends Grace and Maddie were sweet enough to bring me Panera and catch up which was really sweet. Sunday was Mother's Day. I slept mostly and just watched TV. I had the family over and we grilled out. I was mostly up and awake that day. We have been remodeling our basement and my Mom hasn't been able to see it. Sunday she was finally allowed to go down there as her gift. She loved it! I had a friend over that evening as well so it was nice to just chit chat. 

            Today and Monday were basically the same. I've been watching a lot of TV and sleeping for like an hour after I take my heavy pain pills every 4 hours. I'm also taking a heavy anti-inflammatory pill. They make me pretty tired. I've been able to get around a little better on my crutches today. I can lift my leg using my arms now (which I pretty much have to do all the time). It's still extremely difficult to go to the bathroom. Imagine sitting with a straight leg brace and trying to pee. I never thought I'd say this, but I've missed a couple times. Haha. It hasn't been horrible but it's definitely not fun. It's painful when I don't take my pills but it's mostly just very uncomfortable. I can't sleep during the night at all and can never seem to get comfortable. I just want to be able to bend my leg. I can't take a shower yet so my mom has just been sponge bathing me. I haven't washed my hair since Thursday... and So far, I despise people with 2 legs. Lucky me, I live on a golf course and watch people play golf so I dream a lot....

            Today was the first time I was able to get out of the house. I had a doctor's appointment to check my incision. I was excited to see it and look at what I'm dealing with. Until I saw it. It's pretty gross. It's very swollen and bruised and the incision is bigger than I thought. When they unwrapped it I had to ask for water because I felt sick and light-headed. However, the doctor said it looked good and I go back a week from today to take my stitches out. After the appointment, I just went back to the house. It's pretty hard to ride, get in, and get out of the car with a straight leg. Even worse, getting up the stairs in crutches. The neighbors were probably all looking at us weird because I had to sit on my butt and scoot myself up the stairs  until I got inside and scooted myself up my house stairs. I won't be doing that for a little while. BUT it was so nice to get outside. All in all, I'm hanging in there. It's a loonnnngg uncomfortable and painful process but it can only go up from here. I'm hanging on to how much better it will feel after this all is behind me. 

"In case you didn't know, baby I'm crazy bout you,

And I'd be lying if I said that I could live this life without you,

Even though, I don't tell you all the time, you had my heart a long long time ago,

In case you didn't know."

"In Case you Didn't Know" by Brett Young